Crap Cars

Good day for humor. In addition to the Men of Mortuaries below, I just came across this:

Jason McCluskey, 31, a chef from Portsmouth on the southern English coast, had listed his 1985 Volkswagen Polo on eBay starting at 12 cents for "a bit of light-hearted humor." His take on the car's atrocious condition led the vehicle to become a hit, generating 34,000 hits and selling for about $550. He will donate profits to a children's intensive care unit. Some excerpts from his enticing sales pitch:

YOU ARE BIDDING ON PROBABLY THE BIGGEST PILE OF CRAP ON EBAY.

HERE WE HAVE A 1985 VOLKSWAGEN POLO THAT IS ON ITS LAST LEGS AND NOT WORTH THE £20.00 THAT THE SCRAP YARD WANT TO CHARGE ME FOR TAKING IT WAY, SO I AM HOPING TO SELL IT.

THE INTERIOR OF THE CAR IS TATTY AND THE SEATS ARE TORN AND STAINED (no not those sorts of stains)

IT HAS NO GLOVE BOX AS IT DECIDED TO FALL OFF LAST MONTH BUT I FOUND THAT THE FLOOR PROVIDED A GOOD ALTERNATIVE TO STORAGE SPACE.

THE STEREO IS NOT ''STATE OF THE ART'' AND THE ONLY STATION YOU CAN GET IS ''STATIC FM''

THE EXTERIOR OF THE CAR IS NOT MUCH BETTER (in fact worse)

ALL THE BODY PANELS ARE PRESENT BUT MOST ARE DENTED AND SCRATCHED.

THE FRONT TYRES HAVE SOME TREAD LEFT WHILE THE REARS ARE LIKE F1 SLICKS, THE SPARE IS BRAND NEW BUT HAS A PUNCTURE.

THE EXHAUST IS RUSTIER THAT THE TITANIC AND HAS MORE HOLES THAN A SIEVE.

THE BUTTON TO OPEN THE BOOT IS NOT SECURED BUT IF POSITIONED CORRECTLY IT WILL ACTUALLY OPEN , BUT MIND YOU DON'T CRACK YOUR HEAD WHEN IT FALLS ON YOU DUE TO THE WEAK STRUTS.

THE ENGINE WAS RUNNING GREAT UP UNTIL A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO...NOW IT RUNS LIKE A BAG OF SHITE. IN THE MORNING IT WILL OVER REV AND IN THE EVENING IT WILL NEED THE CHOKE OUT OR IT STALLS.

EVEN IF YOU MANAGE TO GET IT RUNNING OK IT WILL OVERHEAT.

THE ENGINE AND UNDERNEATH OF THE CAR IS CAKED IN OIL AND SOMEHOW IT HAS MANAGED TO WORK ITS WAY TO THE REAR OF THE CAR AND COME OUT ABOVE THE REAR BUMPER.

I AM QUITE KEEN TO GET SHOT OF THIS PILE OF CRAP AS I HAVE DUMPED IT ON MY PARENTS FRONT GARDEN AND THEY ARE STRESSING AT ME SAYING IT IS LOWERING THE THE TONE OF THE STREET.